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Surrender Control? Me?

on Sat, 02/22/2014 - 19:30

Have you ever surrendered control?  Have you ever considered how it would be, to allow someone else to control what happens in your life?

For most of us it's not something that we've done since we were children and we consider that as adults it is part of our responsibility to be incontrol of what we do and what happens in our lives.

In 2013 I found myself in a different position.

With my husband I signed up to complete a Sahara Desert Charity Trek; for some while I had wanted to repay Ronald MacDonald House Charities for the help they provide for parents with children in hospital and then the trek appeared on their website.

We signed up six months before the departure date, received our training plan and kitlist, and we began the organisation of our pre-challenge training.  We bought our boots, we bought our rucksacks, we bought our winter walking gear (we were training for the Sahara in the British winter!) we planned our route and we walked.

Every weekend we walked for hour after hour to ensure we were able to cope with the hours that  we would tramp the Sahara.  We planned the power snacks we would take, we planned the clothes we would take and we planned how we would get to the airport.  Everything within our control.

The surrender started gently; this is the minibus you will be taking, this is your first night hotel, this is your dinner, we leave the hotel at 8am, this is your lunch; them 'Ok, get out now.'  As we turned around, from checking we had everything in our daysacks, the 4x4 simply drove and all that was left around us was sand.

Sand as far as the eye could see.

And we walked. I didn't know where we were going, I didn't have a map, I didn't know when we would reach camp, when I would next eat, what I would eat, where I would sleep, how far I had to walk, how hot it would get, when the sand storm would stop........... All I knew was that I had to follow our guide, a man we had only met the night before, whose name I wasn't sure of, whose credentials I hadn't checked.  I followed him, I surrendered control completely.

I felt completely relaxed, happy, confident, open, excited and so much more.

As a group we spent 6 days with all the decisions being made for us.  For me it was a wonderful realisation that I didn't have to be responsible all the time, that I could relax and allow someone else make decisions.

At times it was difficult; why didn't the leader- keep the group together more or ask the guide to slow down for the injured ones or tell us that we would stop 30 minutes after leaving the airport for lunch.........   Was it my business background that needed this organisation, was it the control-freak in me, was years of managing a big family; who know however it change, gradually, almost imperceptibly.

Then I found myself reclining on a sand dune, with a group of people I'd met just three days before, my only thoughts were how wonderfully warm the sand felt as it trickled through my fingers, how the dinner being cooked smelled amazing, how my body felt wonderfully tired from walking and how peaceful and relaxed I was.  When did the change happen?!

How would you feel to surrender control; just a bit?


©Emma Kingscott